Cornflakes & Cocaine ⚠️
This Week in Review☕️: Breakfast of Champions no more | Beer Capital of the World | Picasso masterpiece set to break all records | Cocaine to replace Oil as Colombia's main export | Soda giant uses AI
HUGE milestone🔈.. Touristy just crossed 100K subscribers last night!
100,000 subscribers with no paid ads, no marketing, and a small team.
Our secret formula? Our awesome community and our commitment to delivering high-value content that is easy to consume, educational and short af- all with a witty touch for that dopamine hit😎
Thank YOU guys! ❤️🙏🏻 Thank you for reading, subscribing, supporting and sharing! More exciting things to come! 🚀
Quick Bites:
Food🥣: Cereal on the table, a carton of milk, a tablespoon, and a bowl.. until now. What was once the ‘breakfast of champions’ is slowly becoming obsolete.
Cereal sales are in decline as more people opt for frozen breakfast sandwiches, bars and shakes, The Wall Street Journal reports.
People finally realizing that adding a bucketload of Frosted Flakes on top of your regular diet doesn't turn you into a greek god. It only turns you into a slightly chunkier version of yourself.
Lovely.
PS. Guys, you don't need an ingredient list on a box to tell you that cereal is unhealthy. The problem is that multinationals think the average person isn't a complete moron, but unfortunately we’ve learnt the hard way..🙄
Sales which were driven up at the start of the pandemic have been plunging with a 8.7% decline in 2021 and another 4% in 2022, WSJ reports.
Kellogg is throwing in the spoon (no pun intended), announcing plans to spin off its cereal division into a separate company, allowing it to focus on more profitable snacks.
Our Thoughts💡: As it turns out "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day" was nothing more than a marketing gimmick by Harvey Kellogg to sell his newly invented cereal.
Umm, and guess what folks?? We kinda don't care 🤷🏻♀️
Cereal will always hit the spot. It hits every single time of the day and we will never EVER get tired of pouring ourselves a fat bowl of Rice Crispies with some creamy peanut butter, marshmallows & honey.
Oh and a banana, ofcourse 🍌. We don't f**k with our fiber.
Art 🖼 : A Picasso masterpiece featuring his mistress is expected to fetch over $120 million when it goes up for auction this November, CNN reports.
The royal blue piece titled "Femme à la montre" or "Woman with a watch" depicts his lover and "golden muse" Marie-Thérèse Walter.
Imagine being his mistress and this is the portrait of you he paints.
PS. AI can do this exact painting for $1.20
Picasso first met Walter in Paris in 1927 when he was still married to his first wife, Olga Khokhlova, a Russian-Ukrainian ballet dancer. Walter became the inspiration for much of his work since then.
In 2021, another portrait of Walter (shown below) became the most expensive painting sold at $103.4mn.
It took just over 15 minutes for the hammer to go at $90 million at Christies Auction House. Finally, after an intense bidding war between 2 collectors on the phone, the portrait crossed the $100 million mark.
Our Thoughts💡: Meanwhile homelessness is rampant, people are dying of starvation and disease, losing jobs in a damned economy, dealing with an unchecked unstable government but sure, toss a $100 milly at a painting so you can hang it on your third yacht.
PRIORITIES PEOPLE, PRIORITIES 🖕🏻
Drugs💊: Cocaine is about to become Colombia's no.1 export, according to Bloomberg Economics.
All this cocaine out there and homeboy still wants to stick his nose in our business 🤬
PS. Biggest trade partner is the White House. Just ask Hunter Biden
Cocaine production continues to expand as the government take a more lenient policy regarding drugs, according to Bloomberg.
Oil, which is currently the main export, posted a drop of 30% in the first half, meaning it could soon be replaced by cocaine for the top spot.
Umm.. is there a contract for crack? We'd love to long some on margin 📈
Key Highlights, according to Bloomberg:
💡Colombia is the world's largest producer of cocaine
💡Cocaine revenue is approx $20 billion, ahead of the country's $19.1 billion in 2022 oil exports
💡The country has seen production jump to its highest level since 1991. Last year, it produced a total street value of $193 billion
💡Colombia's illicit cocaine business represented 5.3% of the country's GDP in 2022
Speaking of Coke..🥤: Coca-Cola is using AI to create its newest flavor, CNBC reports.
The beverage giant is launching "Y3000", a soda co-created between humans and AI that is meant to taste like the year 3000.
The good news is that it's still sweetened with aspartame and acesulfame, so it'll still taste like a can of metallic-flavored artificial sweetener.
“We hope that Coca‑Cola will still be as relevant and refreshing in the year 3000 as it is today, so we challenged ourselves to explore the concept of what a Coke from the future might taste like"
The drink looks the same but the taste might differ, with early reviewers suggesting it tastes like grapefruit juice and sweet punch.
We've been surviving on celery sticks and Coke Zero this year to drop off our pandemic weight. Messing with the recipe could have catastrophic results for us... and everyone within a 1-mile radius.
Our Thoughts💡: Love it or hate it, Coke is classic. No one asks for a Rum and Pepsi. Just like no one asks for a Cheeseburger and Pepsi.
Sure, chugging a couple daily might be a death wish but we'll take it. One sip of a chilled Coke and we forget the misery we've had the whole day. Human or AI-generated, Coca-Cola is therapy y’all 🙏🏻
Culture 🍺: Brussels Stock Exchange turns into “Belgian Beer World".
The Beer Capital of the World Gets a $96 Million Monument dedicated to the liquor, Bloomberg Pursuits reports.
Belgian beer is famous worldwide, but until now there has never been a proper showcase of the country’s historic beer culture.
Belgium produces some 1,600 beers and its beer culture secured a place on the UNESCO Global list of traditions worthy of preservation in 2016.
Key Highlights, reported by Beer Tourism:
💡The new museum in Brussels has a rooftop bar with over 50 beers on tap
💡It will be is an interactive and dynamic environment to experience the drink
💡The entire tour aims to arouse visitors’ curiosity and to stimulate their senses
💡Belgian Beer World will also include history, ingredients, the brewing process, tasting and enjoying
💡Visitors’ will be able to see, smell and taste the differences in the water used for brewing, the malt, yeast and hops
💡At the end of the visit, you will sample the beers of your choice in small tasting glasses for a micro-tasting
💡The route ends in the Grand Café, where you will find a range of beers paired with food. Try pairings between beer and cheese or beer and chocolate, or have a taste of beer gastronomy
Our Thoughts💡: Reminds us of Oktoberfest.. Endless carnival-games, Open-air music concerts, Oil-dripping pork knuckles, Pretzels the size of dinner plates, Homemade German Sausages and Beer mugs the size of tanks.. all with men in leather shorts and women in cleavage-baring traditional Bavarian dresses😍
Most importantly, the beer is FLOWING and only the fittest survive! WHOSE ready for a brutal hangover?! 🍻🍻
Quicker Bites:
Libya flooding kills more than 11,000 people.
Wisconsin abortion clinics prepare to resume appointments.
Bear spotted at Disney world.
Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson makes WWE return.
Ariana Grande files for divorce.
Drew Barrymore halts Talk show return after backlash, will resume when strike ends.
Russell Brand accused of rape, sexual assault and abuse.
Maui fire death toll lowered from 115 to 97.
Not really appreciating the apparent political bias I’ve seen so far. Hunter Biden reference completely ridiculous. I’m out.
I read the news often and this has to be one of my favorites so far. Keep up the wittiness and great job!